What does being a high performer mean to you?

I was. In 2012 I joined a Top 20 Accountancy practice to set up a law firm. At that time during my practice, the term ‘high performer’ was used a lot. That and ‘world class service’ being the ambition of the wider firm.

However, like many things, I didn’t stop to really think about what these terms meant for me.

• I blindly wore these labels and the expectations I’d unconsciously placed on myself.
• I found it exciting. Motivating. Fun.
• I’m not really one for status, but at this point in my career I was so inspired by those around me and by this label of being a ‘high performer’ that I pushed harder than I’d ever done in my career – in my life – before.

In reality, this meant early mornings working on my laptop (now it’d all just be on my phone, of course) from my bed before whizzing to my parents’ to walk the dog; a two-hour commute each day; and only really getting dedicated quiet time to finally push through work from 5pm, once the office was quiet after a day full of conversations, meetings, supervision, challenge. I loved it!

Burnout

But, if I’m honest now looking back, it was chaotic.

It was too much.

It wasn’t healthy leadership of myself.

Slowly, I was becoming less of my best self for my team – sometimes nurturing them, sometimes challenging and pushing them too much.

And where did it get me? Success, yes, arguably. But also, burnout.

• Which meant three months signed off work. A three month phased return to work. And a huge amount of upset and work on myself.

• The cost wasn’t just on me though. My team was suddenly a leader down.

• Plus, I ended up leaving the profession – so my experience ultimately encompassed all three: presenteeism, absence and turnover, which together cost UK employers billions each year.

But the lesson I took from burnout wasn’t that I needed to stop being ambitious or stop being a high performer. I needed to understand that looking after the person doing the performing was a very important part of high performance too.

So what could have made the difference?

Looking back, there are seven particular areas I wish I’d approached differently. They eventually became my S.E.R.V.I.C.E wellbeing framework, which I introduce to clients and firms that I work with.

1. Sleep

Prioritising my sleep regardless of the breakfast meetings, late-night pressures or even wanting to socialise outside of work was a foundational piece I was missing – and I know many others in the profession that miss it too. Anchoring in an eight-hour sleep window would have been a game changer to sustainably keeping the pace of my life.

• How much time do you dedicate to sleep?

2. Eating

Although I was relatively conscious about what I ate to nourish myself, I still let ‘just one more thing’ steal my lunchbreaks from me. I’d have prioritised my lunch rather than waiting until I was light-headed or noticed it was 4pm before I ate.

• What could you tweak about how, when or what you eat that would support your busy and demanding life?

3. Running

My life was very active and that helped me, to an extent. But I wish I’d understood that movement didn’t always have to mean pushing harder. When I felt mentally and physically exhausted but was still pushing through on the rowing machine, perhaps what I needed was to be more gentle rather than chasing those expectations.

• What does your body actually need today?

4. Visioning

Asking myself, ‘What did being a high performer in a world-class practice actually mean to me?’, ‘What would it cost me to meet those expectations?’ and ‘Was it what I wanted?’ could have helped me more consciously define my path rather than ending up at burnout.

My only boundary was ‘I wouldn’t work weekends’ but pairing that with ‘“’I’ll give work anything it needs during the week’, without ringfencing sleep, downtime or time with friends and family, was not a recipe for success. I even missed my oldest friend’s 40th birthday celebrations because I was too exhausted to go. For a social butterfly who loves a party and had known my friend my whole life, it was a big deal to miss it.

• What does success actually look like for you and does the way you’re living now support it?

5. Invest with intention

I had fun, enjoyed the client work and was part of a great team, but I rarely intentionally thought about what I needed. A realistic to-do list? Human connection? A brisk walk in the sunlight? A fun bike ride paired with a “woohoo!” as I whizzed down a hill? I’ve discovered repeatedly that pushing through is a false efficiency. Yet it’s a strategy I know many of my clients, me included, turn to.

• What do you need to intentionally invest in yourself today?

6. Control your busyness

OK, so I’ve never been great with time management. I regularly think something will take me 10 minutes then two hours later I’m still doing it. But this is also about our influence and where we place our time and energy. A court deadline is a court deadline. But we can influence the run-up to it, including how we manage expectations and the deadlines we set for ourselves and others. Doing that helps us become the ‘safe pair of hands’ for our clients and colleagues too.

• Where might you have more influence than you think?

7. Endorse yourself

I’d show up for everyone else (or at least I hope I did), but that meant sacrificing my needs and ignoring what my mind and body were telling me. I ignored the ‘taps on the shoulder’: a twitchy eye, a trapped nerve, regular sinus infections. I also put myself under pressure with beliefs such as ‘I have to know all employment legislation to be the expert’ or ‘urgent means this afternoon’.

And all the ways I hadn’t prioritised myself across those S.E.R.V.I.C.E blocks were also eroding my confidence and self-esteem, leaving more room for imposter syndrome.

Learning to challenge those beliefs (Jon Acuff’s book Soundtracks is excellent for this), listen to what I needed and balance the constant challenges with the right kind of support – for example, proactively asking colleagues, managers or the People Team for support – would have made a difference.

• What would change if you worked with your inner narrative to balance the challenge you place on yourself with the right support?

And I want to be really clear here: burnout prevention isn’t all on you.

You cannot simply sleep, eat or boundary your way out of an unhealthy workplace. Firms have a responsibility too. Workload, culture, leadership, working practices and the expectations placed on people matter enormously. It’s why, as well as working with individuals, I work with firms and leaders to help create environments that support sustainable performance.

But this article is about the part you can influence.

And none of this is about going from zero to Super Hero overnight.

Inspired by BJ Fogg, I’m a fan of creating tiny habits that move us towards our goal. An extra 15 minutes of sleep. Actually stopping for lunch. Questioning whether ‘urgent’ really does mean this afternoon. Noticing one of those taps on the shoulder and asking yourself what you need rather than automatically pushing through.

I still identify as a high performer. I’m still ambitious. I still love challenge.

But I no longer think high performance is about how much of myself I’m prepared to give away to achieve it.

So, what does being a high performer mean for you? And what difference could you make if you tweaked your life in these seven ways?