The hidden toll of vicarious trauma

Jane sat in her office at 7 PM, the building largely empty except for the cleaning crew. She’d just finished her fourth hearing of the week, all involving domestic violence, three with children present during the abuse.

At 42, Jane had never experienced domestic violence first-hand. Yet sitting alone in her office, she felt hypervigilant, the intrusive images, the constant sense that the world was unsafe even when she knew, logically, that she was.

This has become her new normal. She stopped mentioning it to colleagues because everyone else seemed to be more resilient at handling their cases. She stopped mentioning it to her partner because she knew it was affecting their relationship.

When your job is other peoples’ worst days

Jane’s experience is a hidden reality of legal practice. Lawyers don’t just practice law. More often than not, they sit across from people experiencing the worst moments of their lives: divorce, custody battles, domestic violence, criminal charges, corporate fraud, financial ruin, wrongful death, medical malpractice, employment discrimination.

Unfortunately, our brain doesn’t distinguish between trauma we experience ourselves and trauma we observe happening to others. Psychologists call this vicarious trauma or secondary traumatic stress. Lawyers absorb their clients’ trauma, anger and grief, day after day, year after year, which can lead to psychological damage that often goes unrecognised until it’s severe.

Overtime, this exposure can alter a lawyer’s worldview, sense of safety, and capacity for trust. It can produce symptoms that look a lot like post-traumatic stress, even if they do not stem from a single life-threatening event but from the gradual accumulation of other people’s trauma. Because it develops gradually and is often normalised as “just part of the job”, it tends to go unrecognised until it is severe.

What you can do

1. Recognise vicarious trauma as a real injury.

Stop dismissing your symptoms as “just stress” or telling yourself that other people have it worse. You’ve been exposed to psychological hazards just as real as physical ones. You wouldn’t ignore a repetitive strain injury, so don’t ignore this either.

2. Seek specialised professional support immediately

Find a therapist/psychologist who understands vicarious trauma. Look for those trained in Eye Movement Desensitising and Reprocessing (EMDR), somatic therapy, or Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT).

3. Create trauma-free zones at home

Establish clear, protective boundaries: no work talk after 8 PM, no phones during meals, one full day per week completely work-free, no checking emails during family activities. This isn’t about ignoring reality, it’s about creating space where your nervous system can learn that it is OK to wind down and reset.

4. Practice a 5-minute transition ritual

Before leaving work: spend 5 minutes doing a physical reset. Stand up, shake out your arms and legs literally, like shaking water off. Roll your shoulders. Take three deep breaths while saying (internally or aloud): “I’m stepping out of my professional role now. I’m heading home as myself.” This creates a psychological boundary between your professional and personal identities.

What family and friends can do

How to support someone experiencing vicarious trauma:

1. Educate yourself about vicarious trauma

Understanding that this is a recognised psychological injury, not personal weakness or dramatic overreaction, changes the conversation. The person you care about isn’t “choosing work over family.” They’re experiencing an occupational hazard that came from doing their job.

2. Name what you see, without blame or dismissiveness

Try: ‘’I’ve been reading about vicarious trauma in legal work, does any of that resonate?” and then be quiet and listen. Don’t accuse or “diagnose”. Aim to express concern and create space for honesty without fear of judgement.

3. Never say these well-intentioned but harmful phrases (even though they might feel natural):

“Maybe you should do a different kind of law” – This dismisses the trauma they’re already carrying and suggests their pain is their fault for choosing this career.
“Well, you get paid well for it” – Compensation doesn’t prevent psychological harm; this is like telling someone with repetitive strain injury that their salary should make the pain acceptable.
“Other lawyers seem to manage fine” – You don’t know what other lawyers are experiencing privately; many are suffering in silence.

4. Don’t take their emotional distance personally

Their numbness, irritability, or withdrawal are common symptoms of vicarious trauma. So, no, this isn’t about you, it’s a psychological injury affecting all of their relationships, not a reflection of your worth or the value of your relationship.

Want to know more?

Vicarious trauma is not an isolated issue; it is an occupational hazard baked into many areas of legal practice that routinely deal with human suffering, conflict and loss. It reshapes the way lawyers see the world, their own safety, and other people. If left unaddressed, it can erode mental health, relationships, and even fitness to practise in the legal profession. At the same time, research shows that when individuals and organisations take it seriously, lawyers can not only recover but also experience growth in professional and personal purpose.

If any part of Jane’s story feels uncomfortably familiar, to you or to someone you know, this is your cue to treat it as an early warning sign and to act now rather than waiting for a crisis to emerge.

If you want to read more about vicarious trauma and additional practical strategies to deal with it, you can read the longer version of this article published with Chronicle Law.

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More about Anastasia

Anastasia is a Mental Coach for Lawyers who works with law firms to implement mandatory psychological support systems. She provides individual therapy and coaching for legal professionals, as well as consultancy for firms ready to move the needle on wellbeing initiatives.

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