Inclusive party planning

I don’t drink alcohol. Why? It really does not matter. There is no reason why this should be of any interest to anyone. I could live my entire life without anybody noticing. And then, at a works festive dinner my ‘dirty little secret’ is out, and my ‘cover’ is completely blown.

After telling a waiter that I don’t drink, my wine glasses are immediately removed. My decision not to drink is then highlighted, alarms are rung, and my life choices are open to full scrutiny.

Removing the wine glasses also excludes non-drinkers from any activity involving clinking glasses - as giving a ‘cheers’ with a non-alcoholic drink is apparently bad luck. Whilst I can see historically that this might be sensible to stop poisoning yourself with ditch water, it’s lucky that drinking clean water today is safe.

This is just one way in which a festive party, put on with the best of intentions and care, might inadvertently make people feel uncomfortable.

In this article, I set out below a few suggestions to help include people who don’t drink alcohol when you are planning your festive party.

Please note that these tips don’t consider the multitude of other ways that people may be inadvertently excluded. For example, do you need to hold the event in the evening? Would a lunch work instead? Have you considered providing childcare, the venue’s accessibility, potential overwhelm, and whether people will be able to hear each other over the noise?

Seven ways to plan an inclusive party

1. Choose your party planners wisely

The first place to start is to ensure that you have a person who does not drink alcohol on the planning team.

2. Tasty options

The alternative to an alcoholic beverage is not water. There are so many tasty options available. There are soft drinks including cordials, sodas, seltzers and kombucha (noting kombucha may contain trace alcohol).

Alcohol free options – which some people who do not drink may not touch as they do contain 0.05% alcohol – like zero beers, zero wine, teetotal spirits, botanicals and infusions.

Then there are fancy mocktails – you can even create a special festive recipe. When alternatives are provided do make sure that they are marked appropriately and that there is no way that they can be contaminated. 

3. Formal dining

Leave the wine glasses where they are and offer a choice of what might go in that glass. It is perfectly possible to offer alcohol free wine or a soft drink as a standard and equal choice. The same can be done for after dinner tipples.

4. Raffle prizes

If you are running a raffle or giving prizes consider not having alcoholic drink prices, or at least offer alternatives to the prize. It does require a little more care and imagination but worth it.

5. Venue

Pick a venue that offers an equal choice of interesting non-alcoholic drinks. A really good idea is to make all soft drinks free and interesting. Serve them from the same bar or table, so people don’t need to go elsewhere for their softie fix.

6. Avoid sober shaming

Sober shaming is where someone is made to feel uncomfortable for not drinking alcohol. People are made to feel like the decision not to drink alcohol is wrong and that person does not fit in unless they drink. Frequently, these comments with no malicious intent. However, it is entirely avoidable. Instead of offering a particular alcoholic drink (e.g. beer or wine?) it is easy to ask, ‘what can I get you?’. Encourage your people to be respectful and kind. They should just accept a ‘no’ and not ask any further questions.

7. Enjoy your party

I love a party, and I am very keen that they all end in good memories and not tears. The HR team tend to brace themselves for an influx of issues following a festive party. I know leaders that ensure they leave before people get too drunk so they don’t see anything. I’d love to encourage a kinder approach and stay to the end. Making sure your tribe are happy and get everyone home safely.